So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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