I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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