We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
