Where did you get a picture of my penis
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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