remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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