omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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