I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You're a disaster
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