Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize