Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
