there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
