I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
