Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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