All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
