p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
