either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
