I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
