I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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