I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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