I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I need moral support for this bender
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
