Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's never too late to be topless.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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