If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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