i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
