We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Boobs speak an international language.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize