In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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