So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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