I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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