I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
