mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
