it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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