this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
