We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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