we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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