He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize