dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
