i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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