Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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