you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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