clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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