jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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