how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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