we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
