i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
