Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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