he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
