Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
