We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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