It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
