yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
