look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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