forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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