I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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