I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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