Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
