we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
