we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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