so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
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i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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