chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
