i need an iv and a liver transplant
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
