I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
