Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
