Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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