dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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