The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
