you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
