i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
