i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
